You are a master in the arts of trolling. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to be utterly offended by every little thing you can imagine and to be vocal about educating others why they should be offended by everything too!
Phobeismist: (n.) A person with expert knowledge in all things offensive; especially regarding race, sex, human behavior, and political correctness.
Activities may include being offended on others' behalf, policing ideas and language, and various free-speech-limiting activities.
"My college-age daughter, a professional phobeismist, teaches others why they should be offended by everything."