Recently, I was told to really think about my bucket list. I tried, but other than going to a tropical beach, my bucket list is actually quite simple. To live each and every day as if everything matters. I don’t need a bucket. My life is here inside of me. Not some far off place or accomplishment. It’s watching in wonder as tender flowers burst through the cold ground, smiling at the wonder of all the beautiful creatures in this world, treating everyone with kindness, listening to music, and feeling the sun on my skin. It’s feeling and appreciating all this beautiful, crazy, miraculous life has to offer. For me it’s also playing and sharing music.
As many of you know, I was scheduled for a bone marrow transplant last October in Seattle. After 5 weeks of testing which proved to be the most emotionally and physically devastating time of my life, I was given the shocking news that the doctors were canceling the transplant. Forever. Basically they decided that rather than having me die during the transplant process, they would rather I live for the year or two I have been given.
The week I returned home, lost and empty, feeling like I’d been sent home to die, I made a decision. I decided to live, no matter what the experts say, so I’ve been volunteering 5 days a week playing the piano at a local school. I also decided to do doubled chemo as a palliative measure and a last ditch hope that just maybe this time it will work. I walk into a classroom every day either immunosuppressed or on chemo and often barely able to walk and I forget all of it. I see and feel joy and sorrow and every single day, even through unimaginable pain, I get lost in moments of gratitude and amazement at the gift of sharing music with young people. They are our future. Music touches us all.
The proceeds from this campaign will help me keep sharing music. The transplant was called off, but doesn’t music help us all to live?
This design represents the magic and joy I feel and see everyday in this beautiful world. It shows some of my favorite things. The ocean, music, magic and all the creatures of the sea. It will serve as a reminder to myself and to you of the beauty of this world. My main reason for choosing to put my body and spirit through such a struggle is so that I can once again contribute to the world and young people through music. I vow to use my life, no matter how long or short to share the gift and magic of music. Let Music Live.
